Return of the Jedi Razzi Style
by Latts Razzi
Summary: After The Empire Strikes Back, Han is frozen in carbonite and shipped off to Tatooine. Luke never came to the rescue, and Lando was exposed! Now it is up to Leigha, Oola, and a few other slave girl friends to rescue Han, Lando, and Chewbacca. Rated T for safety. Happy ending!
1. Chapter 1

Return of the Jedi… Razzi Style.

_The notorious Boba Fett has captured his long sought after prey, smuggler Han Solo, on Cloud City._

_Princess Leigha Organa, Chewbacca, R2-D2, C-3po, and now Lando Calrissian are searching desperately for him, finally tracking him to the desert world of Tatooine…_

Leigha looked sadly out the window as thousands of brilliants stars twinkled, each free and wild, orbiting around the planet on which her friend was frozen and captive. No… Friend wasn't a strong enough word.

And somewhere out there Luke would be finishing his Jedi training, or saving the galaxy somehow.

"Waaargh. Whum whum."

It was Chewbacca, here to comfort her.

"You're right, Chewie." She sighed, hugging him. "This probably isn't the last time we'll have to save his hide. But he's worth saving to me. How about you?"

The Wookie nodded silently.

"Princess?" Lando called from the cockpit. "We're coming up on Mos Espa. It's the closest place to the palace. Better get into your costume. And convince the Wookie to put the binders on. He still doesn't trust me."

Leigha sighed heavily. She hated that costume, but she would do it for Han.

_Han…_


	2. Chapter 2

Leigha's hated costume was abhorred, not so much because of the fact it was pink, but also because it was _ugly_ and pink. A sleeveless mini dress, to be precise. It was so short, that if she bent over, her underwear would be grotesquely exposed, and the neck line was so low that her most of her chest was on display to the general public. What could have been more perfect, that an electric pink pair of clunky boots to go with?

_The last time I let Lando pick the costumes. _Leigha muttered to herself.

Someone rapped sharply on the door.

"You done in there, princess?" Lando called through the metal door.

"Lando, if we ever manage get off of this uncivilized hole alive, I will kill you!"

Lando laughed.

"Princess, slave chicks are always dressed that way. You obviously haven't seen some of the other costumes they wear."

"Slavery," Leigha said from behind the door, "Is Illegal."

"Only in your part of the galaxy, Leigha." Calrissian sighed.

At last, she emerged, blushing furiously.

Lando whistled.

_For Han, relax! You're doing this for Han! _She thought to herself.

"You're not helping, Lando." She blushed an even deeper shade of crimson.

"Well, I might not be, but you are one beautiful woman!" Calrissian laughed.

"Shut up!" Leigha snarled.

"Okay, alright!" Lando put his hands in the air as if in surrender. "Now if you could kindly talk some sense into the wookiee…"

Chewbacca, the ferocious and furry beast, was reduced to nothing more than a puff of fluff when she arrived inside of the ship's den. He was staring adamantly at the empty holochess board, no doubt as depressed as she was when Han was frozen. If a wookiee could cry, Leigha was sure he would be doing so now.

"Hey, Chewie." She greeted him softly. The surprised Chewbacca suddenly noticed he was being watched, and his attitude changed entirely.

"Aww, don't be a tough guy just for me. You promised to take care of me, right?"

"Whumph. Whaaaarl Whumwharrr."

"Hey, my costume is not an acceptable topic of conversation!"

"Wharr whelllp."

"You keep your comments to yourself, mister!" Leigha said sternly.

Chewbacca melted at this last line, and returned to his dejected state of mind.

"Listen Chewie." Leigha said gently. "I know you hate Calrissian, and I confess he gets on my nerves as well. But you need to put those cuffs on, whether you enjoy it or not."

Chewbacca retorted with a sharp "Grrmph!"

"Well, how do you think I feel about the costume?!" The princess demanded, putting her hands on her hips. Chewie imated her with several gruffs, and put his hands on his hips as well.

The scene was so comical Leigha couldn't help but laughed. Chewbacca joined her, and the two entered a hysterical fit, that ended immediately when they heard the sharp tap of Lando's boots echoed through the corridor.

"I don't care what Han says." Leigha snorted. "Han will always be a scruffy Nerf-Hearder to me. Stick those cuffs on, Chewbacca. It's time for me to play the role that has played since the beginning of time… Women saving men's backsides."

Chewbacca, still not entirely comfortable with the idea, put on the cuffs.


End file.
